By Joseph Ondiek
Like marching Christian soldiers they came, saw and conquered by converting their husbands to Christianity in a dramatic victory for God over Satan.
Armed with Bibles, determination and love for their husbands, 15 women from Rinya village in Migori County caused a stir when they stormed into a local pub and started preaching to their stunned husbands.
In what seemed to be a well-choreographed mission, the women burst into the pub, where beer and spirits, including chang’aa, are sold and surprised their husbands who were in various stages of inebriation.
The nimble footed were dancing to the tunes of a classical Luo musician. Some were scattered at different tables enjoying their drinks while one had blacked out, his head hanging and saliva drooling from his mouth.
The women entered the bar beating drums and singing. They requested the counterman to turn off the secular music. But some of the men thought their wives had seen the ‘light’ and were joining them for the binge. They were heard entreating their women to join them at the table for a swallow. But the women had different ideas. They had come to help their husbands to see the light and quit drinking.
Their leader, a laywoman in a local church, instructed each woman to go to her husband and place the Bible on top of his head.
Then with feverish prayers, punctuated by chants of “Amen! Amen”, the women soon had the men quaking in their drink-sodden shoes.
Two incidents happened during the session. The first was when a man tumbled down from his seat. It is unclear whether it was the work of the Holy Spirit or the spirits he had been imbibing.
Dangers of alcohol
Minutes later, the man, who had been knocked out, woke up and told his wife the only time he should see her face in the pub was when she was inviting him for supper. He further told the women that Jesus’ first miracle was to turn water into wine and therefore, the women should get lost with their self-righteousness.
The women resumed their prayers and later held a ten-minute sermon mostly derived from verses warning about the dangers of alcohol.
Then they asked their husbands to confess their sins before the Lord. One confessed that too much alcohol had led him to deny his wife her conjugal rights. Another said he had taken the chicken they had accused a neighbour of stealing to finance his drinking habit while a third confessed to ransacking his wife’s purse for the money he used to buy alcohol and cigarettes.
Chicken thief
The women then led their husbands home, but not before they paraded them at the local market like trophies.
However, the devil has struck back. Three days later, the men started trickling back into the pub. Led by the confessed chicken thief, they say that after deep soul searching, they have discovered that their alleged conversion did not come from their hearts but was forced on them by their ‘holier-than-thou’ spouses.
They also claim that a man cannot live on tea and bread alone and that their throats had become dry for lack of something stimulating.
Standard Media
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