We are back to the beginning of the year yet again when everyone is enthusiastic and rejuvenated. Our New Year resolutions are still fresh and there isn’t a better time to get started on all the changes we have planned before the fire burns out.
Now, if finding love is on your to-do list this year, this piece is meant for you. Truth is, we always find love in the most unexpected places.
Listen to the ladies on the wedding shows and each one of them gives a unique tale of their first encounter with love. The self-proclaimed relationship gurus also waste no time in cashing in on your desire to find Mr Right; advising you to position yourself strategically at weddings, end of year office parties, church group outings or meetings and blah blah blah.
What these gurus forget to tell you is that, once you have positioned yourself in one of these places and a likely mate has presented himself, how then do you determine whether this is the man that will give you what you are looking for?
The dating game involves a lot of acting in an attempt to impress the other person. Just as you want the man to see your best side, some men hide their personalities, with others even engaging in outright deception so as to win you over.
However, if you are keen, you will always see the telltale signs that warn you to be careful. Here are three guys that you should be especially careful with:
The emotionally unavailable guy: Remember the song “what’s love got to do with it?” This man brings the lyrics of this song right back to your mind. You’ve probably told him you love him and instead of responding in similar fashion, he said, “Don’t say that dear, love is a very strong word”.
You have fun with him, but whenever you try to make an emotional connection, he stone-walls you.
You can feel that you’re just not on the same wavelength. This man either lacks the ability to feel love or his heart already belongs to someone else (yes, you could be his mpango wa kando).
Either way, any attempts you make at connecting with him are and will always be futile. If true, crazy, can’t live without each other kind of love is what you have in mind, do yourself a favour and stay away from this guy. He is and always will be emotionally unavailable.
The convenience guy: This guy is kind, affectionate and sometimes even gentlemanly but still on the list of the guys your mama warned you about.
He is fun to be with and when you spend time with him, he takes you to another world. He will send you sweet messages, stay up to chat with you all night and hang around if you need him to – only when it doesn’t come between him and his boys, him and his school work or him and his job.
In short, you’re his extra curriculum activity – the girl he has time for when he has nothing else to do. You have no idea but he decided to come with you to your sister’s wedding because that business meeting was postponed, or the boys cancelled going to that game last minute.
You might be able to take coming second to everything else in his life while you’re still excited about having a new boyfriend but this relationship is not sustainable in the long-term. Walk away while you still can.
Gods’ gift to women guy: This guy is either drop-dead gorgeous, very well-educated or rich. In short, he has something, or all of the things that women are looking for and he knows it.
He makes it look like you’re the one pursuing him, and does not forget to mention just how much all the attention he is getting from the ladies is driving him crazy.
His phone is either constantly buzzing or you called him once and a lady answered and his explanation was “she just can’t leave me alone”.
He wants to ensure that you know just how lucky you are to be with him. Unless you’re ready to be treated like a groupie for the rest of your life, run as fast as you can – in the opposite direction.
Remember that even though there are many fake guys out there, honest and available guys still do exist so do not settle for anything less than what you deserve.
Happy New Year
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