I never thought the day would come when I would say it but I am terribly missing my mother.
I thought now that she is away, I would actually enjoy peace and quiet away from those villagers.
I was looking forward to days without being phone flashed every hour by her and then having to call back.
What is happening in her absence is even worse … every day I get almost 100 ‘please call me’ messages from random numbers.
When I respond, it becomes obvious she gave my contacts to the entire village.
According to one of the ‘please call me’ fellows, “ your mother said that we can flash you anytime and you will call back whenever we have a problem”.
The guy then went on to tell me what the problem was, “ I had booked and paid some money for a calf from one of your mother’s pregnant cows. Now the cow has given birth to a male and I want a refund.”
I am not sure whether to laugh or cry regarding the transaction so I ask, “ how much did you pay?” The guy calmly responds, “I paid 12 thousand bob.” So, I decide to give him some fib, “I will have to call my mother and get the exact details since she had not given me an update.”
A few other calls come in, some about my mum’s church obligations, women group contributions, Napier grass bought on credit and other things.
The more I talk to these guys the more I realise that my mum is not the broke damsel in distress that she always claims to be.
It appears she has a lot of financial action going on, yet she is forever singing the song of poverty.
I am wiser now-and I will use this information in future. In the meantime, how I wish she were back to sort out her issues. I can hardly wait for her return next week.
Another reason I want my mother back is so that she can help me sort out my bachelor status issues.
After my fiasco with Betty and her gang of pals, I am coming to the conclusion that perhaps I am not cut out to handle city women … not to mention that my experience with Lydiah still haunts me.
I was able to piece together the details from Betty and from my near empty wallet about what happened that Friday night.
She finally woke up around, midday-never mind that her pals had been up and about from 9 am.
When I made my first trip to the kitchen, I found them engrossed in frying eggs and making breakfast.
After stuffing themselves, they plonked down on the couches and started watching E-news on my TV.
I had no choice but to retreat to my bedroom and back to Betty.
When she woke up she had lost most of her allure from the day before.
She then gave me a blow-by-blow account of the events from the previous night.
It appears that we drank a lot and ate until we were full, then we got into a taxi and headed home.
She then laughed and said that when we got here, I blacked-out and “couldn’t even do a thing.”
She clearly wanted to rectify the situation so she started touching me tenderly.
Maybe it is my village upbringing but the sounds of loud chatter and a noisy TV in the living room stifled everything.
I had to use all the tricks in the book to get the ladies out of my house — for they appeared content just to ‘hang out.”
I told them I had to go for some club meeting in the afternoon.
Betty asked me if I could call a cab for them — after looking at my wallet and realising that I had only 100 bob, I had to tell the girls, “ sorry you have to take public transport.”
They looked at me as if I was from mars then picked their bags and got out of my house in their very high heels.
The place was in a mess but at least I had peace and quiet.
So I tidied up sat back and switched on some Supersport.
My mother needs to come back — I need her to get me a wife I can handle.
Source: Business Daily
Comentarios