When she is not interested, she'll try to keep avoid eye contact. Photo/File
By Lilian Kithia
Most ladies can stand a lot of things, but being pursued by a guy she’s not interested in is not one of them.
Some ladies will bluntly tell you that you are not their type while most of the others will send you subtle signals in the hope that you will get the hint and back off.
It is therefore your job as the man in question to decipher these signals and decide whether you want to continue pursuing mission impossible or to cut your losses and move on to someone who loves and appreciates you.
Unless a lady is just playing hard to get – which could also mean that she doesn’t like you enough – here are the signals that she may be sending you to show you that she is clearly not interested:
She never calls you: You’re always the one calling her. She also doesn’t text you unless you just sent her some airtime in which case she feels like she owes you at least a thank you.
When she misses your call, she calls you three hours later or flashes you so you can call her back. You are not on her mind and she does not want to invest time or money in a relationship with you, and neither should you.
She doesn’t laugh at your jokes: If she is consistently stone-faced when you crack jokes then you can conclude two important things.
First, she doesn’t find your sense of humour engaging, and second, she doesn’t like you enough to bother to pretend otherwise.
Whether or not she laughs at your jokes doesn’t necessarily have to do with whether or not she finds them funny. Laughing is a form of flirting, and if she isn’t doing it, you can be pretty sure her mind isn’t on you.
If you crack a silly joke and she just smiles, please don’t consider it a polite gesture, this only means she pities you. She mentions other guys she finds attractive: Unless she’s your ex-girlfriend, in which case she could be trying to make you jealous, mentioning other guys she finds attractive means you are in the ‘friends zone’ which means that you are just like one of her girlfriends that she shares her thoughts with you freely.
It has never even crossed her mind to date you. This is more of a last resort which could also mean that she has tried with all subtleness to get rid of you and you just can’t seem to get the point.
In addition to that, she tells you about her perfect man who, unfortunately, is nothing like you. Truth is, women never stick to what they say is their perfect man, she may even end up with a man who is just like you, but in all likelihood, it won’t be with you.
Take this as a kind hint on her part that you, for whatever reason, are not her perfect man.
She tries to set you up with another woman: She might do this because it has never crossed her mind to date you. Alternatively, she might do this because she likes you as a friend (read platonic) but wants to make certain you don’t hit on her.
Either way, the message is clear: She definitely doesn’t want you for herself. She may also try to get you to set her up with another man. At this point, she is really trying to make her point clear.
She avoids eye contact and physical proximity: If a woman is attracted to you, she will naturally want to be close to you and make eye contact.
If she is evading your gaze, however, she may be consciously trying to avoid leading you on and having to turn down your advances later. When she meets with you, she will want to hug you – with both arms.
If she insists on a handshake or hugs you with one arm, take it as a sign that she doesn’t want to be very close to you.
If she exhibits more than one of the above signs, you can be pretty certain that she’s not interested.
Please do not assume that if you try harder she will eventually give in – unless you enjoy being with someone whom you begged, cajoled and pestered to be with you.
If you want a woman who loves you for you – and there sure is one out there – do yourself a favour and put yourself out of your misery. Just cut your losses and move on.
Repeat this mantra to yourself until it sticks: She’s just not into you.
kithia.lillian@gmail.com
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