Patiently nurture your relationship through the various stages

By Ken Wambua

ROMANTIC relationships ARE perhaps the most difficult relationships to handle, and they go through different stages. In the beginning, the two “lovebirds” try to figure each other out and love every minute of it because everything is so new and exciting.

During this period, the brain and heart work at cross purposes. The brain picks up the things that will later drive you nuts, but because your heart is so happy that it’s found someone, these “pet peeves” are ignored.

It is during this stage that you might begin starting to think, “Wow, I’ve finally found the right person.” But a close look at your reaction shows that it is just your hormones and desperation “talking”.

That is not to say that love at first sight doesn’t exist: it does, but is very rare. With time, your relationship will move to the second phase.

This phase can come quite early in a relationship, or when you least expect it.

It is this phase that can make or break the relationship.

During the second phase, some of the things your partner does will start getting on your nerves.

He or she will annoy you a great deal, but don’t worry, it happens to many couples.

If you and your partner get through phase two, consider yourselves a cut above the rest, because this is the most trying stage in a relationship. The third phase depends very much on the second.

If you can deal with the issues and challenges you encounter together, then your relationship will hold. Just like life, love follows a certain path. And it is not always smooth-sailing because the road is bumpy in places.

The important thing is to learn to read the road signs and find a way out. In all this, remember that unity is power and calls for all those on board, including the driver, to agree on the path to take.

Relationships generally follow a simple cycle. You go from absolutely ecstatic with your sweetheart to wanting to wring their neck. If the two of you can get past the first two phases, then most likely you’ll be able to get past the rest.

Relationships call for patience, consideration, understanding, and listening.

What you should realise is that, if your sweetheart did not love, or even like you, they wouldn’t be with you.

Many people often forget this. A relationship progresses in much the same waya child grows.

When a child is born, the parents, and indeed the community, are happy to welcome this new member.

But as the baby grows, so do its needs for greater attention.

This means that both parents must pay great attention to the child to know its needs and meet them.

There are times when a simple fever might threaten the baby’s life.

The same thing happens in relationships, with the fever coming in the form of friends who destabilise the union with unsolicited advice.It is important to let a relationship grow from one stage to the next.

And it is important to note that “fevers” will come, not necessarily to kill, but sometimes to strengthen.

It takes a lot of patience to go through the different phases, but learning from experiences and mistakes makes you stronger.

Nurture your relationship every day, remembering to throw in some humor.

Keep the smile you had for your partner during the beginning of your relationship and all will be well.

The writer is a counselling psychologist

Source: Daily Nation