Many lonely Kenyans, unable to find love either because they are too busy or are simply unlucky, are willing to fork out cash to find the ideal partner
By NYAMBEGA GISESA and JANE KAGENDO
Looking for love? Too busy to date and try to find it? There is a solution to your problem; simply pay for it!
According to dating agencies, many Kenyans are lonely and are either too busy to look for love, are shy, or through a twist of fate and no fault of their own, have not been able to get a partner. Traditionally, love between a man and a woman is expected to be free, but it seems that fate has not been so kind as to give it free of charge to some.
Therefore, many are turning to dating agencies in the hope of getting someone to love them. The question, is what works for you? Would you pay to have your ideal partner sourced for you and sent your way, or would you rather wait, in the hope that destiny will one day hand you your heart’s desire?
Some would argue that dating agencies are time-saving and give you a wide choice because they allow you to meet several people from different fields. They are also considered to be both convenient and pocket-friendly. The price you pay varies, depending on what you want and the agency you chose.
But the overall aim is the same — to find love, happiness, and eventually, a life partner. Ms Jane Ndinda*, an attractive woman in her early 40s, had all but given up on love. All her efforts to attract that elusive partner to give meaning to her life appeared to be doomed.
From the men who visited her luxurious office to the handsome man at the salon; from the conductor on the bus she intentionally used to catch his eye to her teenage sweetheart, no man seemed to be interested in her. But everything changed when she decided to attach a price to love, which she had previously believed should come free of charge and spontaneously.
Men started calling, expressing a desire to be cared for and loved. She narrates her story from a Waiyaki Way restaurant, the very spot she spent hours perfecting her damsel-in-distress act, posing on the bonnet of her shiny black BMW in an effort to attract and woo any man who attempted to assist her.
She is now the portrait of happiness. She concedes that before she met her current husband (on the 30th try at a dating agency), her life was “hell”. Her life started disintegrating after she decided to quit her job while her children were still in school. Her husband, who worked and lived away from home, only sent money for the family’s upkeep. “I was lonely and my marriage was falling apart,” she says.
Financial settlement
Her marriage of 17 years finally ended. Money was not a problem because she got a decent financial settlement. The problem was the loneliness. For the next six months, she went all out to try to find love. Nothing seemed to work, not even the dating sites she visited on the internet. Until she turned to dating agencies.
“It was simple. I paid an extra fee for an SMS and they sent me profiles of several men,” she says. It cost her Sh100,000 to register with several dating agencies. This does not include the money she spent on the dates. “I think I became a member of almost all the dating agencies I came across,” she says.
On registering at an agency, a profile would be sent to her and she would meet the men, buy dinner, and take them out. By man number 29, nobody was willing to consider her a serious potential partner. “I tried to make the men I met feel comfortable. I would try harder and spend more on the next one.”
She laughs when asked how much she “paid” the men to be with her. “A good fortune for a lady with expensive tastes,” she quips. But today she is happy, living with man number 30 on her list; a civil servant who was widowed at an early age. Ms Ndinda is not alone. Many Kenyans are willing to pay for love, information gathered from dating agencies indicates.
“Many people are lonely. We receive up to 50 calls a day from people willing to pay to get a companion,” Mr Wickliffe Akenya says. He charges according to the social and economic status of the client. “On average, it costs between Sh1,500 and Sh3,000, for those interested in a serious relationship. None of those we have connected have complained,” he says.
His dating agency, Braque Precious Communications, has grown from a simple idea and a one-man show started in 2003 and now connects more than 1,300 lonely hearts every month. Hook247, which started in 2008, receives hits from 100 lonely hearts during weekends and about 50 on weekdays.
John, the Hook247 founder, who requested to be identified only by his first name, says the dating business is doing well. From the numbers, it is evident that many people are lonely and are willing to pay to get a companion, he says. “People are too busy to look for partners, so I do it for them. I save them money and time, leaving them free to concentrate on other activities,” John says.
A former Hook247 client, a 34-year-old banker, says he didn’t have time to date, yet his family expected him to marry a particular kind of woman. “I sat down and in 10 minutes I had listed down the qualities I wanted in the woman I knew my family would approve of. I wrote the details in a message and sent it to various dating agencies,” he says.
By the time he had spent Sh11,000, he was already planning his wedding and within a month, everybody was satisfied: “I had my slender, outgoing, and tall chocolate beauty. My family was proud of her education and job, and the fact that we came from the same tribe,” he says.
A 70-year-old man used the services of Hearts of Gold is now happily married and is the proud father of a bouncing baby boy. Tabitha Murungi, popularly known as Aunty Tabby, claims that Hearts of Gold has connected thousands of lonely people. She claims that many of the more than 4,000 people who have registered with the firm have ended up in serious and lasting relationships.
Aunty Tabby started the dating service in 1994 as a spin-off from her original role of agony aunt in a local newspaper. “I used to address people’s problems, including those outside relationships, on radio and through a column in one of the dailies,” she recalls. One theme ran through most of the correspondence she handled in the nine years that she managed the column.
“People often asked for help in finding a marriage partner and it got me thinking what I could do to help them,” she says. She eventually decided to act and in 1994 set out to pair lonely hearts, a service she offered for 14 years. She started by organising luncheons and dinners where single people who registered with her agency for Sh1,000 would meet and interact.
She found that this was not financially viable, so she moved to a more serious arrangement. “People who register with me fill out forms with their personal details, give a full-length photograph and a copy of their identity card,” she says. She charges Sh4,000 — Sh1,000 for consultation and Sh3,000 for registration.
For overseas connections, the fee is doubled because of the costs she incurs trying to pair partners. Aunt Tabby is particular about potential partners. “I give the men the contacts of the women whom I think will make a good match rather than have the ladies initiate contact. That is the way it is traditionally done and it is what I prefer,” she says.
She also recently launched a magazine, Dr Love, dealing with issues of dating and marriage, and profiles of lonely people seeking partners. Her services have expanded and are now available on the internet as more people turn to technology. There are many companies offering dating services in Kenya’s major towns. They advertise their services in the media and charge between Sh250 and Sh2,000.
You can also get hooked up through your mobile phone and for a fee, you can get the names and contacts of people seeking partners. But Aunty Tabby has reservations about this method. “It is not possible to quantify how many real relationships are found and formed this way, but my feeling is that there is no accountability here. The service is mainly used for short-term or illicit pairings, not by people desiring serious or long-term relationships,” she says.
For members of social networks like Facebook, there is a section for singles to interact. Other free sites on the web include Metrodate and Meeting Land.
*Name changed due to the sensitive nature of subject.
Source: Daily Nation
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