Dear form four leaver,
Congratulations on completing four years of high school education; of going to class, taking part in every aspect of school life (I hope you did) and I hope you made good friends along the way and also learnt a lot more than the chemical formulas.
I hope when you look back at the four years you spent in high school you will miss them dearly. Those were the best years of your life – you just don’t know it now. What lies ahead is built completely and absolutely on how you spent the last four years.
Even as I pen this letter to you today, I must apologise because I feel it may be a little late. I hope it’s not. You see, I believe that huge fun-fair of career day for fourth formers is ill-timed – that day should have been given to you in form one, to allow you to create a basis on which you will deal with the next four years and having built that foundation, be ready for what comes next.
As you kick back and think to yourself “no more school!” know this, your parents and teachers are hoping they raised a strong, independent woman. In the same breathe, they are hoping that you are and will be happy. I also hope that you know that you cannot be happy all the time but that you realise happiness is a state of mind you control.
Take this letter my dear, keep it somewhere and read it again in four years. You don’t have to take everything I say to heart today – however do keep it in mind. Here’s what I need you to know as you go forward:
Don’t be in such a hurry to get older and do all the things your parents and teachers wouldn’t let you do. There’s a reason we say there’s a time and season for everything. Take it slow, you’ll be 30 in no-time.
If you don’t have the money for something, do without it and don’t get someone else to buy it for you. Those shoes, earrings, hand-bag or phone aren’t worth your dignity or the drama.
Don’t derive your self worth from which guys or girls you’re seen with or which man’s car you’re seen stepping out of. Get your own. Remember you are the average of the five people you hang out with. I know you may not want to hear it right now, but mum does know what she’s talking about.
If you’re asking yourself if you should have one more drink, the answer is no. I’m not even going to address the fact that you aren’t 21 yet – I’m not stupid.
Before you take that picture of yourself, put on that outfit, or do that “crazy thing that everyone else is doing” ask yourself – would you want to show or tell your dad, the President or your future boss about it ? If it was plastered on the front page of the Star would you be proud? If the answer is no, don’t do it.
It’s okay to say you don’t know. We don’t expect you to know everything. No one knows everything. Pretending to know everything just makes you an ass at this age. As long as it is legal, moral and ethical, there is no job that is beneath you – I was a messenger, I waited tables, I’ve served tea.
You only get one body. Love it and take care of it in every way. You don’t have to let boys win. I hope you know that you can be both pretty and smart. It’s called competitive advantage. Get it. Some things are your own fault. Deal with it. It’s the scary decisions that really matter. Seek God above all else, and he will provide.
Lastly, my 18 -year-old, grown up sister, remember: this is your one life. You will mess up. You will get second chances. But you don’t get a “do-over.” From here on, the rest of it – this life – is your journey. Make it a good one, that you can be proud of.
Wishing you the best and God-speed as you step out into this crazy world. Take it a step at a time, but whatever you do, hit the ground running. I was blessed to have a mother who had me working a week after fourth form and much as I didn’t appreciate it then – I love her dearly for it today.
Be well, be bold, be smart, be blessed.
Fondly,
Caroline Mutoko
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