Mrs. Mary Kamau-Edgerson and her son JohnLawrence Edgerson at their home in Fortworth, TX. Photo/Jambonewspot
By Jambonewspot.com Reporter in DALLAS, Texas
A Kenyan woman in Fortworth, TX is launching a desperate plea for financial and any available assistance to enable her mount a strong legal fight for custody of her son.
Mrs Mary Wairimu Kamau-Edgerson is appealing to all Kenyans of goodwill to come to her assistance as she has become financially drained after being in protracted divorce proceedings.
She is currently in dire need of legal representation which she believes is of neccessity for her to be able to fight to maintain custodial rights to her son as her soon-to-be ex-husband is seeking sole custodial rights.
Days and weeks have passed but one fear that never goes away is the fear that any mother has- the fear of losing custody of her son.
Downtrodden both emotionally as well as financially, she doesn’t dare imagine how life would be without her son after all she has been brought up in a family of faith.
However, without much needed help, losing custody of her son may no longer be Mary Kamau-Edgerson’s figment of imagination but may very well turn into reality with any wrong move due to poor preparations for her proceedings.
Mrs Kamau-Edgerson arrived in the US in 1998 and nothing prepared her for these tumultuous turn of events that would engulf her life and lead her to this point.
At this moment, the land of opportunity has given way to fear, pain and sleepless nights as she wonders what the future has for her down the line leaving her at the lowest point of her life and this is not how she envisioned her life after 12 years in the US.
For Mary Wairimu-Kamau Edgerson, a resident of Fortworth, TX and a Certified Nursing Assistant in one of the local hospitals, it was like receiving the wrong script of the American dream rendition.
In her own words, she narrated her hallowing experiences that have led her to this point to Jambonewspot.com.
She walked down the aisle in 2003 with the expectations of growing old with the man she loved. She had hopes of living in one of her childhood “they lived happily ever after” stories and forever being in the arms of her American husband, Calvin Edgerson, a former US Marine.
For the first one year, she lived her dream as Mary Wairimu Kamau-Edgerson but little did she know that in no time, it would be going downhill in blazing speed.
What was once a happy marriage took a nasty turn. In 2005, the then love of her life turned into heavy drinking which would end up in verbal abuse according to Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson.
The verbal abuses were laced with expletives and constant shouting. They escalated to a point where she developed a low self-esteem.
She was made to feel worthless by the very man she loved. Could this really be happening to her?
As is the case with many women in abusive relationships, she originally never confided in anyone about her situation and kept it to herself fearing the stigma that would result from going out in the open.
Mirroring Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s situation, many abused women stay in abusive relationships for a variety of different reasons ranging from fear of being alone to the hope that the abuser will recognize abuse for what it is and change.
She decided to stick to the vows she made on her wedding day and not “out” her husband to the rest of the world and being the prayerful person that she is, she decided to continue seeking higher intervention in prayer in the hope that all will go away.
Unfortunately, this was not to be.
Life got even bumpier for Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson in or around 2005, when according to her, she was not allowed to go to church by Mr. Edgerson. She was a faithful church attendee who even took up ushering duties at the Covenant church in North Dallas. She also frequented Upendo Baptist Church, a Kenyan church currently based in the city of Garland just outside Dallas in the company of her aunt, Mrs. Jane Kamau Kapten.
She revealed that the situation got even rockier when she was pregnant with her son. She says the abuse shifted from verbal to physical.
As if that was not enough, she had been ordered to sever any communication with Mrs. Kapten since Mr. Edgerson “did not want to hear the language she was speaking” leaving her further isolated from people she knew.
“ I had not seen Wairimu (Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson) for four years,” says Mrs. Kapten. “I could not even be there during the birth of her son.”
Mrs. Kapten went ahead to narrate how close they two women were back in Kenya. “Wairimu and I were so close at home and we used to share a bedroom whenever we were together,” she remembered. “I am actually the one who hosted her when she arrived in the US.”
Mrs. Kapten just wants her niece’s ordeal be over so that she can move to Dallas, where she can receive all the support she needs and be closer to the people who love her.
According to Mrs. Kapten, she was finally able to see Mrs. Kamau-Edgerton’s son when he was already 14 months old. He was born in 2007.
Verbal torment
With Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson all alone, she continued bearing the blunt of the man she thought she knew. Mr. Edgerson started complaining that she was getting fat and that her dressing was not to his liking.
“He started calling me fat and kept telling me that I needed to lose weight as I was an embarrassment to him,” Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson lamented. “He started instructing me on what to wear and suddenly the choice of dressing was not mine.
According to her statements to this reporter, Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson had to endure labels that would make anyone squirm. She said that Mr. Edgerson would call her an “illegal immigrant”, “fat” and “stupid” every time she did something he did not approve of.
She also recounted one instance when she had written a letter that was supposed to be mailed to Kenya. Mrs Edgerson had lost her brother earlier on and was not able to travel to Kenya for his funeral.
She therefore chose to mourn her brother in her own special way by sending letters “written to her brother” every anniversary of his death.
At this particular moment, she placed a letter in the mailbox for collection. It never got to Kenya.
Mrs Edgerson said that Mr Edgerson took the letter out of the mailbox and read the contents. He then taped the letter to the wall and took a photo of the same. Mr. Edgerson later used this as evidence against her that she was “speaking to her dead brother.”
As a result, she was orderd according to court documents not to display “letters written to her brother” near their son.
When Jambonewspot.com contacted Mr. Edgerson for a comment on his wife’s allegations, he did confirm throwing words at her. “Yes, I did. She is an illegal immigrant,” he defiantly maintained. When this reporter reminded him that his wife had a green card, Mr. Edgerson responded, “Have you seen her green card?” before bursting out laughing.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson holds a ten year green card which she showed to this reporter.
“These words hurt so much,” said Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson. “He repeated them over and over again and they were obviously meant to intimidate me.”
This reporter was able to read some of the text messages sent to her phone that contained the offensive tirades which she has saved. A number of those text messages contained the said words with one of them reading “You thief and illegal immigrant” as a result of Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson taking one of the two family TVs to her new apartment when she moved from the family home.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson also alleged that Mr. Edgerson forced her to change her original signature. “I would sit down with him to practice on my new signature which he wanted,” she said.
She also said that Mr. Edgerson did not want her to socialize with his friends because he feared that she would say something that would “embarrass” him.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s real legal battle that involved her son started in 2008. According to court documents, a court order was issued by a Tarrant County District Associate Judge Terri White, awarding temporary custody of the couple’s son to Mr. Edgerson.
Mr. Edgerson had alleged that his wife had threatened to kill their son, JohnLawrence and that she was “crazy”.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson was ordered to go for a psychological evaluation which according to records, she attended and the evaluation officer, Parnel Ryan, testified in court and returned a clean bill of health certifying that she was psychologically sound.
She was also receiving counselling at the SafeHaven counselling center in Fortworth, an organization that helps women and children who have ben victims of domestic violence.
In March 2009, after an appeal against the Associate Judge’s ruling which did not order Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson to pay child support to Mr. Edgerson since he had been awarded temporary custody, District Judge Judith G. Wells awarded custody of the couple’s son back to Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson. According to court documents, Mr. Edgerson was instead ordered to make bi-weekly child support payments effective March 13, 2009 and was also ordered to meet mechanical costs for Mrs. Kamau Edgerson’s 1996 Mitsubishi Gallant car for amounts not exceeding $1,000.
According to Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson, her Kenyan passport is still being held by Mr. Edgerson’s attorney and she does not understand the rationale behind it as she thought the court should be the one holding it if she is considered a flight risk. She has also been ordered not to leave Tarrant county with her son.
According to the Child Support Services in the Office of the Attorney General, Mr. Edgerson has not made any payments since August 2009 and he currently owes $6,000. This was in line with handwritten table of payments maintained in a notebook by Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson.
Mrs Kamau-Edgerson insists that the missed child support payments have contributed to her hardships as she has to foot most of the child’s bills herself. She showed this reporter a receipt for $5,100 which she had paid towards her son’s day care expenses. The day care center’s goodwill allowed Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson to pay the March 2009 to December 2009 bill at the end of the year.
In addition, her car is in a really bad condition and after various breakdowns, it may be very well be in its last moments. She has also never received any money for repairing the car and as if she did not have enough problems, she was told by her mechanic that the car needed repairs worth $2,500.
When this reporter asked Mr. Edgerson to comment on his missed child support payments yet he is all for the welfare of the child, he shot back saying that the custody battle has not been decided yet and that he was confident that he would be awarded sole custody of their son.
“This case has not been decided yet,” he said. “She will get the payments if the court awards her custody (of their son) which ain’t gonna happen.” When asked to confirm he was seeking sole custody of the couple’s son as he had mentioned earlier, his answer was a firm “Oh, most definitely.”
Mr. Edgerson proceeded to ask this reporter without solicitation whether Mrs Kamau-Edgerson had told him that “she wanted to kill their son”
If the court decides to award full custody of little JohnLawrence to Mr. Edgerson, the tables would turn on Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson who would be under legal obligation to make child support payments to Mr. Edgerson, an obligation that Mr. Edgerson himself has not been able to honor.
When probed further on why he would subject his son to conditions where he has to ride in a car which has no air conditioning while he was aware he suffered from eczema which would make him scratch himself so much especially over summer, he would not comment on that specifically and chose to say that there is so much that has been happening that I do not know about.
The couple owns a 2006 Chevy Malibu which has been taken over by Mr. Edgerson.
Prior to running this story, an attorney with Rubin and Associates who identified herself as Nicole and also acting as Mr. Edgerson’s attorneys contacted this reporter and threatened him with a subpoena. In the attorney’s words, Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson was “not supposed to discuss anything regarding this case” and by discussing it with the reporter, the reporter would be subpoenaed to testify in court during the proceedings as he is “now part of the proceedings.”
As far as we can tell there was no gag order issued against Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson and the reason for contacting Mr. Edgerson was to give him an opportunity to respond to the allegations leveled against him by his wife as any objective reporter is required to do to be fair and balanced.
Mr. Edgerson was under no obligation to answer our questions and he did so on his own accord even after I identified myself and the reason for calling him. He had an option to refer me to his lawyer for comments but he did not exercise this option until well into our conversation. Any questioning was done in the course of my reporting.
Legal representation
These challenges notwithstanding, Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson has been plunged into further dilemma. Due to lack of finances, her immediate former lawyer filed a motion with the Tarrant Country District Court seeking to withdraw counsel.
“I owe her and I do not have any money to pay her and she could not represent me for free,” a downcast Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson said. “I would really like to retain her as she has done so for me and was passionate about my case,” she added saying she understood her lawyer’s decision.
This has thrown Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson into a state of panic as she is fully aware of the tricky nature of divorce proceedings that await her in about three months time.
The proceedings will go before a jury panel as these were Mr. Edgerson’s wishes. Texas is one of two states in the United States that permit jury trials for divorce cases upon request.
When one party in the proceeding picks to have the proceedings brought before a jury as opposed to appearing before a judge, the jury trial prevails.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson who now remains with no legal representation is faced with a divorce mediation date in two weeks. The divorce mediation session precedes the actual divorce case and is a part of the divorce proceedings.
She laments that she does not understand the documents that are being sent to her and she does not even know what some terminology contained therein mean as she pensively glanced at a list of items on a document referring to the mediation session.
“Look at this,” she said handing the document to this reporter. “What am I supposed to do with this?” she asked pointing at the check mark boxes besides the items listed thereon.
When we contacted Lisa Hobbler who was Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s immediate former lawyer, she said that she was willing to resume working with her as she is in a “really bad situation” and she definitely needs legal counsel.
The legal bill had ballooned to $4,500 (Sh351,000) and this was too big a bill for the attorney to continue extending her goodwill to Mrs. Kamau Edgerson. The attorney however insisted that she was very willing to work with Mary but her bill level was at a level she could not handle saying that she does not operate a large firm capable of absorbing client’s debts even when she would really want to help each one of them.
“I like Mary (Mrs.Kamau-Edgerson) and I feel sorry for her,” Lisa said. “ She is in a very bad situation at the moment and she needs all the help she can get.”
She added that while she does not know our (Kenyan) community, she knows that any help coming from them for Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson will be of great benefit to her.
Lisa could not give us a figure that would be needed to go through the entire divorce process but she estimates that Mrs. Kamau-Edgersonwould require almost $10,000 (Sh780,000) to get through.
“I do not know about her welfare right now but the last time I was with her, she had a car that did not have air conditioning,” the attorney said. “She will definitely need much more than legal fees.”
Faced with this predicament and dwindling choices, Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson tried approaching the Legal Aid of Northwest Texas, an organization of legal representatives who provide free civil legal services to eligible low income residents to a number of counties in Texas. She was declined as they had too many cases to process.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson visited various online resources including mamasource.com which is an online resource for mothers where they post questions and seek advice from other mothers in situations similar to theirs. She sought to enquire if she needed counsel for case and the response was overwhelmingly in the affirmative.
Armed with this information, she decided to seek help from Kenyans who live around the Dallas area. This took her to jambonewspot.com, a Kenyan community website based in Dallas, where she posted a message on the site’s discussion board seeking Kenyans near or around her city.
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s mother speaking to Jambonewspot.com from Kasarani near Nairobi, expressed her wishes in this saga.
“I just want this situation between my daughter and her soon to be ex-husband to be resolved amicably for the benefit of the child,” Mrs. Margaret Kamau said. “If they are going to leave each other, I pray they do so in peace,” she added.
Mrs. Kamau seemed puzzled by the nasty tone of the divorce proceedings noting that these proceedings are worked out in a relatively peaceful manner in Kenya.
She was adamant in her wish for a peaceful resolution to this tussle and she insisted that she would be at peace thousands of miles from her daughter if the process moved on seamlessly.
“I would like to see Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson retain custody of my grandson but I would also like the father to have access to him as it is the right thing to do,” Mrs. Kamau concluded.
One of Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s best friends who has been steadfast in her turbulent journey is Mrs. Kathy Collard who is a nurse and a colleague at Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s place of work. According to Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson, Mrs. Collard has been with her every step of the way and is so grateful for her assistance.
Mrs. Collard frequently pops by Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson’s apartment loaded with goodies for her son as well as meals when times are tough for mother and son. She has provided Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson with moral and financial support when she needed it most.
“I just want what is best for her,” says Mrs. Collard. “I just want this to be all over as she has gone through so much and she doesn’t deserve it as I know she is good mother,” she added. “I hope that she retains custody of her son and that she can be a happy mom.”
The bond between the two women was unmistakably strong as both spoke fondly of each other. It was easy to see why as little JohnLawrence responding to his mother’s “enquiry” as to who brought him the goody he was holding gleefully shouted “Aunt Kathy!”
“I have been amazed by Mary’s strength in all this,” said Mrs. Collard. “I do not think I could have handled what she has had to go through.”
Precarious situation
Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson is in a precarious situation. The American justice system may not be very kind to slip ups of any kind and Wanjiru cannot afford any along the way. A simple mistake may mean losing custody of her son for good.
Stepping into the courtroom without legal counsel, she will definitely be walking into a “minefield” ready to blow up. Without any understanding of the intricacies of the legal system, she is in a bind and that is very well known to her.
She is not ready to resign to fate as it is right now and that is why she has launched an appeal seeking financial as well as any other support from the Kenyan community and all well as all those others willing to help. She hopes that the community will respond and rally around her.
“I simply cannot lose my son,” a teary eyed Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson said. “I am his mother and I am a good mother and I only seek to continue being the mother my son needs.”
“It was hard coming out with my private details like this but I need help badly and I am appealing to the community to help me for the sake of my son.” she concluded.
The journey is far from over for Mrs. Kamau-Edgerson and she still has a treacherous ride ahead of her.
But while she may not at the moment be singing “there’s a party in the USA”, she ultimately hopes to sing “my redeemer lives.”
If you would like to donate to help Mrs Kamau-Edgerson, you can make a deposit to:
Bank Name: Bank of America
Account name: Mary Edgerson
Routing number: 111000025
Account no. 488027848537
You can also contact the following:
Mrs. Mary Kamau-Edgerson- preciousfaith59@yahoo.com Tel: 817-891-1833
Mrs Jane Kamau Kapten- janekapten2000@yahoo.com Tel: 972-513-5611
Other contacts will be added when received.
This post is now closed for comments-Moderator.
留言