For many sisters, finding the kind of man they would be willing to hook up with is becoming a real struggle these days. While there may be a few who fit their criteria for Mr Right, there is simply no easy forum where the interested woman can make the first move and get to meet the man she’s interested in or a third party who may act to break the ice with an introduction.
But while getting to actually meet the man you have an interest in may be seemingly daunting, it is quite easy to get his attention and proceed to make a winning presentation of yourself if you make the right moves.
Here are the steps from a man that you should follow:
Get ready
Before attempting to approach a man, you have to consider carefully exactly what kind of impression you want to make on him. It is most important that you show him your best side.
There is no bigger let down than a poor first impression when instead of looking at you with interest, the man considers you an interruption, nuisance or worse, a tart. You need to be self confident and clear in your mind what you want him to see the first time he sees you.
Watch him closely
From his body language, you can tell what kind of a man your target is. If he is the one talking most of the time, he is a dominant male. For this type, you have to allow him to talk and if he finds you a good listener, he will find you attractive.
If he is the brooding type that talks little and smiles even less, you will need charm to win him over. If he talks little and smiles a lot, you will have to be open-ended with him.
If he is the fidgety type whose eyes keep roaming sneakily around, then he is most likely a man with emotional issues. Watch how he interacts with his friends even before you make your move.
Is he the type who sits back and waits for everyone else to pay the bill while he gulps his drinks and eats the bigger portion of nyama choma or is he the one who will order drinks for everyone and organize the food as well.
Doe she make endless trips away from everybody to talk on his phone. Is he popular with those around him or is he a little fly on the wall who sits brooding in a corner and drinking copious amounts of alcohol then falls asleep? All these observations will inform you on whether he is worth pursuing or not before you make any move.
If you really like him after all this, you can still try to build something. Once you have built an initial profile about him, you are ready to attack.
Make a move
There are different approaches to suit different situations. If the man who has caught your fancy happens to look at you, hold his gaze for a moment, then look away. Eye bonding is the most powerful statement there is in romance.
Take a moment and look again and chances are he will be watching you as well. A smile will do the trick and he will know straight away that you are interested in him.
You can then go to him and tell him quietly or before his friends that you find him interesting in a natural kind of way and then take off. If you are bold enough and are ready to take rejection should it come, then let him know that you find him attractive.
From that moment on, avoid looking his way and completely ignore him. If he is also interested, then he will come to you. Even if it is not on that same day, he will try and look for you.
By going to him, you will have already done enough and following it up in any way might end up making you look desperate so avoid any kind of follow-up and keep your distance unless he makes the next move.
The other good move is to simply use a cock-and-bull story. You may go to him pretending you thought he is somebody else you know and have catching up to do. Of course, he will correct you but by then, a conversation will have started.
The rule is to make the transition from the ‘mistaken identity’ to ‘him’ as natural as possible. He must not know that this was a ploy.
Play your cards close to your chest
For most women, meeting a highly desired man is a very rare occurrence. It is natural therefore, that when you do meet him, you are excited.
This initial moment can be a major letdown for you if you are not careful. You should manage yourself with utmost dignity and self-control. Men love to chase and you must make him think that he’s the one pursuing you.
For example, if you end up ordering a drink together, insist on paying your half. Importantly, you should totally reject his offer to take you home after this first meeting.
Men love women they are able to respect and that comes from your conduct right from the first contact. If you leave him with the impression that you are easy prey that can be ‘chips fungwad’ ( ready for a one night-stand) then you have only yourself to blame when the next time you see him, he behaves like he has never met you before.
This is something that women need to know; a man will meet you at, say, a pub, buy you a drink and chat with you but if you are willing to leave with him on that first meeting then you’ve already lost the game.
What will be going through his mind even if he does end up with you for the night ie just how many men you leave with every time you are out.
Take charge
Women betray their vulnerability very early in a relationship. This is what men exploit this vulnerability to misuse them and then dump them.
You have just met him and straight away, you are seeking assurances that he does not have a girlfriend or wife somewhere, that he will marry you and so on. If he lies, you will not easily find out.
The best plan therefore is to cultivate a friendship first and this can never be over-emphasised. As you get to know him better, you will answer the most important questions about him for yourself.
As much as you may love him in your heart, keep that in check until you have satisfied yourself that the right chemistry has developed between the two of you.
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