For a fulfilling relationship, you need to learn to give. File | Nation
Allow me to start by pointing out that some of us are emotionally bankrupt.
There is nothing we have saved in this account, and as a result, there is nothing we can withdraw. All relationships require emotional investment, which we can turn to whenever we need to fortify it. Unfortunately, most of our accounts are covered with cobwebs and dust from lack of deposits.
When you are kind, honest, caring and friendly to another person, you make deposits in your Emotional Bank Account. However, if you are unkind, disrespectful, uncaring and mean, you draw from this account.
Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, uses the metaphor of the Emotional Bank Account to describe, “the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship.”
Trust is needed for a relationship to thrive. True, without trust, we may manage to accommodate and endure our partners. However, the relationship will never be mutually satisfying.
Most of us are guilty of taking our spouses for granted. We forget to do those little things that cost little, yet matter the most. Saying thank you, sorry, giving a hug, a kiss.
All these are emotional investments, which may not make up for material investments such as money or expensive gifts, but determine your partner’s well-being and happiness.
The kind word, a compliment, a kiss in the morning and a text to convey your love is what will make your spouse’s heart glad.
If this is what you want, you need to start depositing into your Emotional Bank Account. When this account is well loaded, conflicts are successfully resolved since you will be basing your argument on love, rather than anger.
How to make the deposits:
Love and care. Express this in the little things that you know will make your partner happy. Eventually, they will add up to great things.
Commitment: Promise only what you’re capable of delivering. Your partner needs to know that you’re trustworthy.
Expectations: If you expect to receive, be prepared to give. There’s nothing wrong with expecting a lot, but you need to be prepared to give as much as you expect.
Apologise when you are wrong: There is nothing demeaning about saying you’re sorry. If anything, it’s a sign of maturity, which will earn you your partner’s respect.
Praise your partner: Do it at least once a day, and make a habit of seeing the good in your relationship rather than focusing on the negative aspects.
As you invest in your relationship, remember that, just like a bank account, you can only withdraw what you have saved.
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