Handling your own ex or your girlfriend’s ex as we saw in last week’s article, can be a tricky affair, but handling your man’s ex is even more complicated and unnerving.
Even when you know that things are officially over between your man and his ex, sometimes you can’t help but feel just a little bit threatened in her presence.
This is the main reason why, in this part of the rules of sisterhood, I bring you up to speed with the unspoken rules that govern your interactions with your man’s ex.
However, let me make one point clear from the outset- your man’s ex is none of your business. You have your past and your man has his so if you trust your man, give him some privacy and stay away from his history.
But if you are in a social circle that allows for your significant other’s ex to constantly remain part of the picture, it might be hard for you to draw the line about how much a part of your life the ex should be.
So here are the rules:
Rule number one: Your man’s ex is not and should never be your best friend – even if she tries to be sweet and friendly. Reason being that some things just don’t mix!!
Forget about keeping your friends close and your enemies even closer, if your man’s ex tries to be all pally-wally with you, run!! Take it from me, this can only end in either of these two ways, she either becomes your co-wife or she steals your man back.
Rule number Two: Unless your man is having an asthma attack and he forgot his inhaler at her place, never ever ever call your man’s ex!! This only screams ‘insecure’.
If you suspect that something could be going on between him and his ex, calling her won’t fix anything. It is your man you are in a relationship with so talk to him about it and find out the truth.
If nothing is going on and you are still worried, then that signifies that you have some confidence issues that need to be addressed. On the other hand, if for some reason, your man’s ex ever calls you, don’t get angry or abusive. This also screams insecure!! Rule number Three: Never ever ask your man about his ex. I will reiterate this; your man’s ex is none of your business. If the topic comes up during pillow-talk.
No! If your man brings up the topic during pillow talk, do not misinterpret this as the golden opportunity for you to ask one thousand and one questions about the lady.
Truth is; you’re only allowed to ask one question and then dismiss the topic with a simple, “I’m glad you’re now mine” followed by a long passionate kiss. I’m sure you two will be together long enough for you to ask him all you have ever wanted to know about her. Rule Number Four: Never ever bad-mouth your man’s ex – even if you are stating an obvious fact. So what if she is not thaaaaaat pretty or you think that leaving her was the best thing your man ever did?
Even if you have his ring on your finger, keep your opinion of his ex to yourself. Reason being that people who break-up sometimes make up. You don’t want to bow your head in shame when they do.
You also have to understand that not all relationships end on bad terms and bad-mouthing the ex may offend your boyfriend if they still have a civil relationship. Rule number Five: If you ever meet with your man’s ex, fight the urge to stare at her or sneer. Staring may mean that you are comparing yourself to her while sneering makes you look downright insecure.
Be nice and make the meeting short. And if she has moved on, do not make the mistake of imagining that you guys can all have a double date. No matter what the movies may want to have you believe, this never ends well.
Note: The first few interactions with your man’s ex may leave you worried for your relationships but things get easier as your relationship with your man grows and both your pasts fade into the background.
Source: Daily Nation
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