Dating myths busted

We are past half way into the year and you are probably wondering where the Mr. Right you have been waiting for is?

You have been following all the rules of what to do or not to do from the relationship guidebook and yet nothing is happening in that quarter?

Well, it is time to throw away that dating guidebook and create your own rules….you may be overlooking someone special just because the book says “do not touch.” Here are some dating myths debunked.

You’ll never meet the love of your life in a bar

This is one of the no-no’s when it comes to dating.

We have been cautioned many times that a relationship with someone you meet in the bar will never work out, leading most ladies to ignore the men they meet at the pub because they are not seen as potentials but ‘chips funga’ or one-night stands.

This is where most ladies go wrong, instead of trying to impress the guys they meet at the pub as potential wife material, they go on to display themselves as party animals that cannot be tamed.

Ladies, chances of meeting the love of your life in a bar in the current set-up are 8 out of 10 as that is where you will find most young people passing their leisure time.

Kui 29, a sales executive met her love in one of the bars in Hurlingham area and they have been married for a year now.

Kui is one of those women who used to dismiss the men she met at the pub as only being interested in taking a woman home for the night. She decided to change this mindset and soon realised that there were actually a number of men in search of the love in that same place.

She met Njoroge, a promotions co-ordinator at an advertising agency when she went to have a drink with her girlfriends. It was karaoke night and she stood up and sang one of her favourite hits.

When she went back to sit down, Njoroge bought a round of drink for her and her two friends. Before long, he asked if they would like to join him and his friends at their table. Kui’s friends were opposed to this saying that the men were upto no good. But Kui convinced her friends to join the men after all they would just be bought drinks and leave at their own leisure.

With nothing to lose, the girls joined the men. Kui soon found out that she was actually enjoying Njoroge’s company so much and did not want to spoil it by drinking too much. When she said she was leaving, he offered to give her a lift home but she declined and instead took the taxi home with her friends.

They exchanged numbers and the next day, he called her and wanted to meet for a drink, she decided on coffee instead. Njoroge had no option, if he wanted to see her then it would have to be over tea or coffee and so it was. Three years later, they are married and expecting their first born.

“I wanted Njoroge to see me in a different environment than the bar and that’s why for our first date, I insisted that we meet for coffee so that he could see me in a different light,” concludes Kui with a broad smile.

Never date your boss or colleague

Dating your boss is seen as a no-no. Dating your colleague is frowned upon, yet because many of us spend most of our time in the company of our bosses and colleagues, the law of proximity is bound to apply.

After all, as they say, the more time you spend with someone, the closer you are likely to get. So what is wrong with two consenting, unattached adults getting to know each other away from the work environment?

This belief that you should not date in the workplace has led many women to ignore the workplace as a prospective dating zone in the belief that a colleague can only buy you coffee, lunch or a drink.

So long as you can separate business and pleasure, you can have a perfectly healthy love relationship without it messing up the work front.

“My life was a boring one it was always work, work, work and more work for me, I didn’t have much of a social life and whenever my sisters would ask me if I was dating anyone, I would always tell them that I was too busy, says Akoth, 31.

“I wasn’t going out much and that is when my sister reminded me that I worked in a very established organisation that had many prospective men who I could date. It is only after that conversation with her sister that Akoth actually looked around her keenly and noticed the single men whom she had all along ignored.”

To cut a long story short, Akoth and her colleague Patrick are set to tie the knot in October this year, and because the organisation they work for is against workmates getting married, Patrick changed jobs.

Play hard to get

Please flush this myth down the toilet. In this day and age when everyone is busy trying to seal a deal, no one has the time to keep chasing after a full grown woman.

As Erick, a 34-year-old businessman puts it, “those were moves we pulled in high school and college. Right now, I don’t have time for this, a woman is either in or out and I know speak for many men. We simply don’t have the time or energy for mixed signals or mind games, play hard to get and you’ll find yourself playing alone” says Eric.

You’ll never find someone serious online

The more you hang onto this myth, the longer your status will read single…actually if your profile simply states that you are single, why not be daring enough and change it to ‘single and searching or single and ready to mingle?’

You will be amazed at the number of new prospectives you attract. Granted, some will be weirdos but I can assure you that a good number will be guys you can give a second look. In this day and age where everything is done online, why not give finding the love of your life online a chance too?

Sleep with him on the first date and you’ll never see him again

I know this may earn me some barbs from some of you, but this rule needs to be thrown out the window. Many women fear being dumped after a man has gotten what he wants from her.

Njambi, a 28-year-old banker, slept with the man she has now been married to for two years on their very first date, “I liked Kung’u very much and on our very first date, we ended up in his house, I did not beat myself down for sleeping with him too soon.

I didn’t carry any guilt or regret what happened nor did I worry that he wouldn’t call me, there was so much more to me than just sex and if he hadn’t seen that then that would have been his loss. We’ve been married two years now and still going strong.” Says Njambi.

Source: Daily Nation