Do you often find your partner annoying and cannot stand almost everything he does or says? Does he often irritate you or make “silly” mistakes that work you up? You might not know it, but you might be suffering from couple burn out. Many of us think that burnout is the curse of employees, yet the fact is that it is common in many relationships.
So what exactly brings about couple burnout?
It often rears its ugly head when your relationship fails to fulfill certain expectations that you had assumed would be met by your partner.
Most often, these expectations are unrealistic.
Worth noting is that burnout is a gradual process, therefore, don’t expect to wake up one day and find yourself tired of your spouse.
Initial signs are a slow fading of intimacy and love, accompanied by a general dissatisfaction in the relationship itself. In its extreme form, burnout could mark the breaking point of a relationship.
Physical Exhaustion
Interestingly, burnout could manifest itself through actual physical fatigue which sleep seems not to take away. You wake up feeling exhausted on Monday morning, even after spending most of the weekend in bed. Your stomach churns when you think of your spouse’s many ‘faults’. Each crime on his long list of misdemeanours gets magnified.
Emotional exhaustion
You feel emotionally drained, disillusioned, and resentful. You do not feel like explaining anything and the last thing you want to do is work through issues that crop up between the two of you. You are convinced that there is no hope for you in the relationship. You grow more and more unhappy. Everyday seems worse than the last. Life feels empty and meaningless.
Nothing seems to matter anymore. You’re frequently stressed out and feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
As bad as things are, you feel helpless to bring about change, you have given up the idea of changing your mate and you don’t have the energy or the inclination to try to change yourself and you feel trapped. This feeling of despair can lead to emotional breakdown.
Mental Exhaustion
This mostly manifests itself in low opinion of self, and in the negative attitude you have of everything concerning the relationship, particularly your partner. You no longer believe in the magic of love. You often think of leaving but have no idea where you would go to.
The writer is a Counseling Psychologist.
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