Can women pay bills occasionally?

By JACKSON BIKO, bikozulu@gmail.com

If my grandmother were to rise from the dead today, she would be amazed at how women have changed since the early 80’s. Now they drive big cars and drink strong drinks.

They hold bigger jobs, fill their own tax return forms. They brawl harder in the boardrooms, take bigger risks in business. They spot longer nails (albeit fake).

They are more confident, which means they wear thinner smiles. They are better educated. They fly Business. They sit alone in bars and pour their own drinks. They drive with one hand (the other applying lip gloss).

They are as hungry for success as the next ambitious man, which means they won’t lose sleep at night if they stabbed you in the back for a job or contract.

Today’s woman sees herself as the man’s equal in almost every aspect of life. The only tradition that she is willing to maintain is where the man foots the bill.

A woman will want all the perks of equality but when a man takes her out, she will expect him to open the car door, to drive her, to pull out her chair, pour her drink, make her laugh, stand up every time she stands up to go powder her nose, and lastly, place a cute credit card on the bill.

It’s called chivalry. They say it’s sexy – and they are right. No use pretending any more, dating has become commercial and the man is gauged, from the early stages on how big a bill he can settle without having a heart seizure.

True strength of a man has moved from the biceps to the wallet.

Kodak moment

And so a woman picking up a bill in this era is a Kodak moment that should be preserved delicately for posterity – for our sons to study in future.

Okay, some women have no qualms about picking up the tab. I’ve met a handful. But for every woman who will do this, nine will look away from the bill like it might give her a migraine.

This is how bad it is, every guy I know can remember the woman who picked up his bill no matter how long it’s been. Why? Because apart from the number being countable on the fingers, it’s a surreal moment to have a woman offer to pay for our things.

It’s a moment of shocking beauty to hear the words “It’s okay Chris, I’ll take care of this one today,” from a woman.

Men are more accustomed to cunning words like, “Oh Chris, I had a blast, next time will be on me” yet there never is next time.

And so men continue to pay the bill every time they are out.

Argument

Women have always floated a thin argument in defence of this claiming that part of being a man means being able to pay for his woman. If we were to argue along those traditional lines then one would be forgiven for saying that part of being a woman is to cook.

But how many times does a man carry along a take away when visiting his woman, because she has not or cannot cook? Let’s get this right. We are not asking women to pay every time we take them out. But it would be nice to occasionally offer to pick up the bill.

Do not offer to pay; reach out and pick the bill and pay. A decent man will always decline when you offer. One of my friends says a woman will pretend to want to pay while waiting for the man to protest. It’s insincere, pretentious and so flawlessly manipulative!

Source: Daily Nation